Sex Tips & Education, Sex Toy Guides
How to Choose Your First Sex Toy: A Beginner’s Guide
Jan
By Samantha T. · Picks are chosen for beginners, with specs from each maker. Nothing here is based on our own use.
Choosing a first sex toy is easier than the shop shelves make it look. Three questions narrow it down to a handful of options: which body part, inside or outside, and how strong. Answer those, keep it simple and inexpensive, and you will learn more from your first toy than from any amount of reading.
Three questions before you buy
| Question | What it decides |
|---|---|
| External or internal? | Start external (on the clitoris, nipples, penis or perineum). It needs no insertion and is easiest to enjoy. |
| Pinpoint or broad? | A bullet focuses vibration on a small spot; a wand spreads it over a wide area. |
| Battery or rechargeable? | Rechargeable is the norm and cheaper over time; check the water rating if you want shower use. |
Good first picks
Each of these makes a sensible first sex toy: small, simple to use and inexpensive.
Best for: A first vibrator for the clitoris
A classic bullet with a super-soft, squishy tip that’s gentle against the vulva and clitoris, rechargeable and splash-proof.
Best for: People who find bullets too sharp, and couples
A compact version of the classic wand: three speeds, up to 2.5 hours per charge and simple buttons. It also doubles as a massager.
Best for: A cheap, no-commitment first toy for a penis
A small, super-stretchy single-use sleeve with a textured inside and a sample of Tenga lube, so you can try a textured sleeve for very little.
Best for: A gentle introduction to cock rings
A very stretchy silicone ring that is easy to put on and take off. Wear any cock ring for no more than about 30 minutes.
Best for: Trying anal play with the smallest size
Barely a finger wide at the center, in velvety silicone with a flared base that stays outside the body. Always use plenty of lube.
From Je Joue (ILY), Magic Wand, Tenga and Tantus product copy. November 3, 2026
Add one bottle of lube
Lube makes a first sex toy more comfortable and is essential for anything inserted. A water-based lube such as Sliquid Naturals H2O ($17.60) is safe with silicone toys and condoms. Our lube guide explains the choices.
Mistakes first-time buyers make
- Buying the biggest or most powerful option as a first sex toy.
- Choosing a cheap porous material that is hard to clean.
- Using silicone lube on a silicone toy.
- Skipping the cleaning instructions.
- Buying a surprise for a partner without asking.
Caring for your first toy
Clean your first sex toy before the first use and after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, dry it fully, and store it separately. Our toy cleaning guide covers every material.
Ready for more? See our best vibrators, bullet vibrator guide or all vibrators.
First sex toy questions
What is the best first sex toy?
For a vulva, a small bullet or a mini wand; for a penis, a simple stretchy sleeve or a soft cock ring. All are easy to use and inexpensive, and they teach you what kind of sensation you like.
Should my first sex toy be silicone?
Silicone is a good choice: it is non-porous and easy to clean. Use water-based lube with it, since silicone lube can damage silicone toys.
Is a vibrator or a dildo better to start with?
Most people start with external vibration, because it works without any insertion. Add an insertable toy later if you want to.
How do I clean my first sex toy?
Warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner before and after use, then let it dry fully. Only rinse under the tap if the maker says it’s waterproof.
Do I need lube?
It makes almost every toy more comfortable, and it is essential for anything inserted. A water-based lube is safe with every material.
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